Gatherings Over Protests

Reflections on a narcissistic relationship

Protests and events serve a specific purpose and help us to establish a network with like-minded people, but they are not the ultimate goal of our gatherings. We want change. We want a functioning government representative of the people and serving the needs of the people.

At this point, enough like-minded people have found each other to begin organizing and strategizing around real solutions to move forward. It is time to take our network to the next level.

I liken our collective situation to a relationship with a narcissist. In this case, the government is narcissistic partner.

Once you discover you’re in that situation, the first step is to find a support system, which we have done thanks to Events, Protests and Online Communities. Now we can withdraw our energy from the narcissist. This method of withdrawing energy is known as “going no contact.”

What does that look like in relation to the people versus the government? Well, to a certain extent, it means we no longer spend so much time protesting. We have established and exposed the fact that the government is not listening and does not intend to correct its course of abuse of power. How much more energy should we invest in protesting? Is it not time to turn our attention, time and energy toward positive solutions?

A well-established method of dealing with narcissism is known as the greyrock method. Narcissists want to steal our energy and continuously do things to get a reaction out of us. That is why I believe they launched Drag Queen Story Hour. They knew it would trigger us, and we would spend the entire year fighting back. In my opinion, we wasted a lot of precious time, gas and energy reacting to their abuse, just like they wanted so they could shift the blame onto us.

A creative solution to counter Drag Queen Story Hours would be to hold our own story hours. Had we responded from a grounded position, this is exactly what we would be doing.

Ultimately, the goal of the abused partner in this relationship dynamic is to thrive and succeed despite the existence of the narcissist. What does this look like from a societal standpoint? Becoming self-sufficient as far as possible and building resilient communities outside the government and its so-called support systems. This should be our focus and aim, not just for ourselves but all of society suffering under the system.

If this was a marriage and you had to leave because your spouse was having an affair with a foreign lover; and gaslighting you when you brought forward your concerns.. legalities over the assets, such as the house, would need to be addressed. The House of Commons, Provincial Legislatures, Town and City Halls belong to the people. These houses have been misused and mismanaged by the “husband,” the so-called politicians. We still need to take back the “house,” but we can only do that once we take the steps listed above and “get on our feet.”

The video below was inspired by this concept and done in early spring of 2023. I hope it inspires you and your community to refocus your energy, our most valuable asset, and to thrive despite the narcissistic system.